On the Edge

I go to the roof of a 7-floor apartment building,
     I walk to the edge and look at the passing cars
          I hope no one notices me
I talk to myself about the things that would make me jump
     Bad relationships, no job, death of a loved one, nagging parents
          The list goes on and on
I talk to myself about the things that you keep me alive
     My family, my poetry, my dogs, my understanding teachers
          The list goes on and on

As for now the temptation
     Of jumping, ending my life
           Seems so far away; downward
I ask myself,
     "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"
If I jump...
     I'd be in a graveyard
          My loved ones would still be morning my tragic suicide
If I backed off...
     I'd be living life
          May be going to a picnic with my family
 I say to myself,
     "Will you go to that picnic?"
          Yes, is my answer, I will go to that picnic

I take a few steps backward
     I lay down on my stomach
          With my head resting on my folded arms
               My head perched out passed the edge of the roof

 This is peace in a way
      Found by my own regrets
          Bound together by my life

The Difference

Last night; I laid in my bed and thought
My life is boring
       I wake up
       I go to school
       Do homework
       Do chores
       Eat dinner
       And go to bed

You might say my life is set in stone
IT'S NOT

I want something new, fresh, different
I don't want my mom's life
I want to party, have fun, be free
I don't want to be time restricted
I want to set my own schedule
I don't want to me called a kid
I want to grow up in my own way
I don't want someone to tell me what I can't do
I want someone to believe in me

But as of right now my thoughts are just...
thoughts
And my life is just...
life

Jade(my teddy bear)

He feels, He sees, He thinks

He feels what i feel,
          Sorrow
                  Love
                        Happiness
                                  Pain

He sees me,
           Cry
                  Laugh
                       Struggle
                                 Whine

He thinks I am,
           Awesome
                  Scared
                        Daring
                                   Brave

I see, He sees
I think, He thinks
I feel, He feels

Home

I come home
I try to rest
   but rest seems unreachable
I'd get up
   but my body is weak from lack of sleep
I wonder how my night will fly by

Out-of-no where
   my body falls over in a deep sleep
Finally I get the sleep I need
That's until being Abruptly awakened
    by mom's yelling in the hall

After this i don't go back to sleep
I am awake for hours

This Is My HOME

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My 4 walls

The first wall:
                 Laughs with me
                 Cries with me
The second wall:
                 Prays with me
                 Swears with me
The third wall:
                 Comforts me
                 Gives me hell
The forth wall:
                 Makes me happy
                 Makes me sad

Mental Image

I'M STANDING ON THE EDGE OF A ROOF
       SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY

I JUMP
   THE WIND MAKING ME DRIFT AS I  FALL CLOSER TOWARDS
   NEW YORK'S HEAVY TRAFFIC

AND THEN,
          LIKE MAGIC I AM SUSPENDED IN THE AIR

THE TRAFFIC,
         GETS NO CLOSER AND NO FARTHER AWAY

THIS IS PEACE
          THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR

THEN I WAKE UP,
           ONLY TO REALIZE THAT IT WAS ONLY A DAYDREAM

AND I AM STILL,
          STUCK IN REALITY

The Tunnel

I'm in a tunnel.

I can barely see a light,
               It's faint.
               It seems to be getting closer.

I start to run.

The light,
              Gets hazy.
              It drifts away.

I stop and fall to my knees.
              I weep in sorrow.
              It's gone.

My only hope of leaving this tunnel.
              It's GONE.
              AND I'M STUCK in here for yet another night.

Finding Glory

Breaking free
             Letting GO
                       Taking hold of what i have
                                                        And I'm not letting GO
                                                I'M NOT SLIPPING
                                                AWAY AGAIN
                                   NOT THIS TIME
                                   NOT EVER AGAIN
Cuz' I'M FINDING GLORY
                                AND I'M NOT LETTING GO
------------------                               ---------------------             Cuz' I'M NOT
                 ------------------                          ---------------------     FALLING IN THAT     
-------------------------           ---------------------             -------   ABYSS AGAIN
                                                                                              IT'S SCARY
                                                                                       IT'S DARK
                                                                     AND IT'S NOT GLORY

Wonderer

I wonder off
               into a corner
                            And cry to myself

I cry about
              the simple things
                             the stolen things

I cry about
            my life
                          my innocence

For you must surely see
           I am nothing but a teenager
                         caught in a dilemma

You see my dilemma is
          that I cry too much
                         And there's too many choices for me

You see
        I am nothing but a teenager
                         caught in my own Identity crisis

The Boy who Broke my Heart

...who stole my heart
 ...who kept the key
  ...and never gave it back

...who named me his
 ...who gave me his love
   ...who gave me his promise

...I stole his heart
... I threw the key into the ocean
  ...and never gave it back

...I named him mine
 ...I gave him my love
  ...I gave him my promise

And he still broke
                         my
                            heart